this grudge

oh my god.

yaz called me out of a sudden. i was in the office on thurs and that voice swooped in and talked as if everything's been fine and normal all these days.

well mind you it could have, if we had not had this intimate r/ship before and became completely lost in touch for like two years.. and suddenly came about discussing wedding invitation.

i mean, this is the person who walked on my right everytime we crossed the road so that if we happened to be hit by passing cars, i wouldn't be the one would have been hit first.

is this normal? being lost without a trace and came back as casually as it can possibly be and invite the ex for the wedding??

it's ok if we had closed it well enough, u know, and being friends all these while. i don't mind. but i can't help feel a bit like a slap in the face. it's as if this person's daring me, hey look i can be married to other ppl...

dun get me wrong, i'm not holding a grudge or anything like that, please, but i feel this isn't very appropriate, and at least one party isn't be considering enough and i'm almost certain it's not me.

anyway, it would interesting to see how the marriage goes, u know, considering what this person was while with me last time.

after all, i'm the one holding the innermost secret which definitely won't go well with the wedding, or even the overall idea of it.

if only i could actually make it to the day, which is tomorrow more than 200 miles away, and sing titanic's 'my heart will go on' like this good friend of mine did in his ex's wedding, in a sincere delivering with a glitter of hope...

...that sth would end up sinking...


...ed