when the wrong one loves you right

it has been, ermmm i don't know, about week and a half? ..since i last met CY.

i was thinking that we'd have more free time after HP dept shutdown but no, those countless interviews has been very time consuming...

it's harder even to meet up now.

like yesterday, we only managed to meet for a short dinner at whampoa market. i was feeling a bit down because of this whole thing, and it hardly cheered me up. when i was asked why i looked kinda gloomy, i blamed it on the weather.

it's easy to blame everything on recent out-of-hand-hot weather. after all, couldn't blame CY, as i must understand that huge effort might be needed to land a job nowadays.

but i couldn't help it sometimes when the heart sings a different tune from the mind. still i really hope someone remembers that today is our one-year anniversary.

how i hope good thing will surface up too when i see that saint francis apartment unit today during lunch time break.

i called a different agent yesterday as the previous agent was uncontactable and they did not return my sms so i assumed they were not very keen. i mean, they did mention that they would call me in few days time but surely they would have to keep themselves contactable??

however, they called me just minutes after i talked with the new agent, so affectively now i have 2 agents handling that saint francis unit for me. but as my colleague said, they are just 'tools' so i guess it's ok.

now that i have the possibility of climbing my first property ladder, i must keep my expenditures sensible enough.

yesterday at company's bazaar sale beside the cafeteria. i bought half a kg of raw honey for 15 dollars, which should be totally acceptable. everybody knows honey is good for health, and surely i shouldn't trade health over anything. it will be good for my gastric too.

then i bought a pilates ball for just 15 dollars, which was a total bargain. i mean, outside is selling like 65 dollars, so i was actually saving money. i'm thinking to convert one of my 2 bedrooms in my new apartment to an exercise room cum meditation/ prayer hall, and this ball is silver so it will totally match any color of the wall.

now i'm still considering whether to buy this expensive antioxidant pills. heard that it can cure muscles ache and join pains, which i have most of the times, and most importantly it will help retain my youth.

anyway, i should look at the apartment first. i'm so upbeat about this actually. planning the decoration and design of my own place is fun, though that means i'll have to seriously cut down my oversea trip after this.

although i must say going kl whis coming long weekends staying at hotel istana suites does not go in sync with my current plan, but hey, friendship is as important to me too!

my mum was like, 'you're coming back and stay in a hotel?' which for me it was a pretty hard tone. all along i went back kl and stayed at home so i hardly met my kl friends, let alone ventured night life. so i just explained to her that this would be a reunion, which is actually true, except this reunion only consists like 5 ppl.

but hey, i'm in my late 20s and about to climb my first property ladder, so surely i can afford to enjoy some freedom in kl...


...ed

the force within

urghh...is it me or it's very HOT recently?? i feel like stripping all the time at home.

monthly wise, it's almost summer for nothern hemisphere and i guess somehow s'pore is no acception, except from winter to summer like normal seasonal countries, ours is summer to 'more summer'...

anyway, i'm following barcelona open seat godo tennis final, nadal vs ferrero live score off the net now. that starhub overpaid sports channel doesn't even show replay telecast, which sucks.

instead, they are showing US clay court c'ship. who wants to see those crappy americans on clay anyway?? it's french open tune up games for goodness sake!

in background checking this private apartment for sale in st francis using s'pore street directory. price wise, still ok, managable range and location wise, superb. i just have to see the place to ensure everythings good, and CY offered to check the feng shui.

imagine i turn up at the place introducing CY, 'pls meet the feng-shui master'. haha!!

it'll be nice having place of my own, though at this point i won't put much hope yet. everytime my lunch kaki discussed about renovations for their hdbs, i just resorted to get busy playing with ice in my kopi beng.

that, i hope, will change soon.

gosh i think i have a bit of headache. must be from staying indoor too long in this sauna-like place watching the last three star wars movies. bought them off gramaphone yesterday because like everybody else, i'm starting to get excited over upcoming revenge of the sith finale.

nevermind the 90 dollars spent, i'm sure that was such an investment. after all, there are all classic movies. with all those special effects, i would prefer the original best quality dvds anyway.

~wait till i get my own house and my own home theater system set-up.

having read the revenge of the sith book and found out how anakin turned to the dark side, i felt myself supporting darth vader in every battles they fought in the last 3 episodes. not luke, not leia.

let's face it, i'll turn into the dark side too if i were anakin. so who can blame him? it pissed me off seeing the end of returm of jedi. why must every story ends with the supposedly good ones prevail??

look at swordsman 3 - the east is red movie, tung fang pu pai was the last man standing. no, the last woman standing. i so adored that ending i remembered watching it in cinema several times after school.

ok this headache is getting worse. i think i better stop staring at the screen, except u know, occasionally checking the live scores.

*may the force be with us this coming weekend!*


...ed

whooping four figured sum

gosh i almost fainted when i looked at this month's electricity bills.

i was so worried how my emotionally-unstable housemate would react seeing that extra digit in overall sum.

i mean, for a person that freaked out when i reminded him on monthly rent, sudden spike in utility bills isn't the best thing in the world to inform him to.

thus, it was no wonder i stared at the paper like 5 minutes in front of the mail box trying to make sense out of it, finding possible explanation on the sudden surge.

oh no my housemate just went into his room after staring at the bills for awhile without saying a word (mind u, the silence might not be of any abnormal indication as we seldom talk to each other anyway).

should i go to the kitchen and check whether our knife is still there?

oh he's knocking on my room door...

...

just to give me a cheque.

cheque for the current month bills, plus the internet fee, plus the bills. two third of the bills.

i tried to reason on extra money he was trying to pay for the bills, but he said he used most of the electricity and not to worry bout it. i wanted to argue further but found myself silenced with the remark.

'coz it wasn't that nice the last time we argued.

well i guess, maybe he's not bad a person after all. i've seen his dark side before, but i've just been reminded of his other side as well just now.

gosh i must remember to stop calling him names.


...ed

candy in the eye

finished watching 'beautiful illusions' off channel 8.

i always like fann wong shows, and in this series she played 2 characters. how great is that? it's like double treat.

i don't care ppl say she's plastic, not natural blah blah blah (when i wrote ppl here, i meant june, my ex-colleague who prefered zoe tay, who's voice is like a man. what does she now?? honestly) but she's such a candy in the eye.

now i have problem arranging my daily schedule so i can be home at 9pm on weekdays. or at least remember to set my vcr and hoping i don't mess up the channel, or recording date etc.

i even skipped pilates class yesterday night.

which i'm sure i did enough work-out today to compensate for that. left work half an hour early today to play badminton at kolam ayer cc.

didn't have to sneak out like always as i know my boss was in (again!) genesis training, which i skipped myself. i mean, what's the purpose anyway? the company only bought one license, which means only one person can use it at a time, so the chances are i won't have chance using it anyway...

i always like this time of the week. i love bowling too but considering i won't pay that sum of money weekly to play, and let's face it badminton probably burn more calories than a week of bowling combined.

plus, i could learn how i am physically. like just now, i was almost flattened by my late-30s ex-boss (who btw pay every cent of court booking fees and shuttlecocks. this guy is simply an angel, at least when he's off work). how bad is that for stamina and (erm...) my confidence??

i must start going gym lifting dumbells again, and next jogging session i must do 4 rounds non-stop. ok maybe a little. wouldn't want ending up like this 26y/o guy i read in newspaper working out in the gym during lunch time when out of sudden he dropped dead.

scary.

oh yeah my mum called this morning (now i felt so guilty of not calling my parents more often) telling me my 3rd brother is going to new york for his degree. i was like 'wow!'. i'm so proud of him. he was the one who when he was about 3 or 4y/o, looking at the moon in one car trip and asked us,'why does the moon following us?'

of course my last trip to new york was disastrous (it was during the 911 event, but to be honest, i wouldn't trade that experience to anything else now), but still i'd love to go there again some time and now i have another reason to go too.

that, provided ivory, the house agent i just contacted few days ago have not found a suitable private property for me to buy yet. considering the tight budget i gave her, she isn't gonna find it anytime soon.

tomorrow's friday. CY won't be around this weekend but at least, i can still flirt in the office tomorrow. ok not flirt, but it's such a thrill working along this new cute colleague (who's hereby i i'll named ZY) in the lab.

now this one's candy in the eye too.


...ed

it's like that y'all

monday afternoon tea break time. as usual this time i don't really feel like working.

1st, it's monday, and like all other normal ppl, i'm feeling monday blue.

2nd, we had our weekly 2hr meeting right after lunch as usual, which means whole morning struggle to complete the presentation. it's just like when u sprint without any warm-up, only this one does not affect my limbs but my brain.

after all, after clearing mails, did this and did that, not much time to work on sth new anyway.

inadequate sleep i had last night didn't help too. i stayed till 4am to watch monte-carlo tennis final on star sports. it was my fav nadal against defending champion coria. it was a replay telecast and for once i was glad they cropped the whole match to only interesting sets, had they shown the whole match i would have still watching when the sun came up.

to my delight, nadal won so u see i'm not complaining.

so everything's good. inluding past weekend...

CY brought me to kovan on friday after work. we had this supposedly famous ponggol nasi lemak near mrt station, judging from the queue and newpaper cuttings pasted on the wall. however, it turned out not as good as we expected. the rice was normal, and anybody could fry those chicken, and the cucumber...well anybody could cut it up like that.

i think ppl just naturally followed the long queue without actually knowing what awaited them, which in this case, everything but nice nasi lemak.

typical singaporean.

on saturday we went for a shopping spree at toa payoh ntuc. i got this 30 dollars voucher from online e-diary survey which i completed last week so u see it was a good excuse to spend abusively (but of course within 30 dollars limit).

with tonnes of vegetables we purchased which could have fed ethopia, we cooked at home for lunch. i experimented long beans dhal curry and CY made this mushroom macaroni dry soup. both turned up well as neither of us had toilet emergency thereafter.

around dusk we went over to gain city but found out it was just an office building, not a shopping complex that we thought it was. disappointed so we proceed to (where else) toa payoh central where we walked around the bustling crowd.

i like this place, it's like a small city within housing estate, so you don't have to actually dress up for it, things are cheaper too, except there are old ppl in just about every corner you lay your eyes on so i won't say it's a candy-eyes place.

CY went back home on sunday after lunch so i completed the day lazying on bed reading this star wars revenge of the sith book which i bought at changi airport few weeks ago. managed to read couple of pages till i eventually dozed off, which kinda ironic since anakin was also about to turn to the dark side.

as i'm not in the shape as i'd like to be, went jogging in front of the block late afternoon. it wasn't hot as it was almost dusk and windy. completed 4 big rounds as usual, ending up feeling horrible as usual, torturing myself just to get that extra fat off.

i loath exercizing.

so another weekend gone. oh yeah, received the cornell microwave too from my company for 5 years service award. haven't think of anything to cook in it yet, so i just dumped it behind the living room sofa.

typical.


...ed

whole pointless row

it's friday noon and my office space has just turned into a carom hall.

my colleagues purposely went out for a quick lunch then returned to play till 1pm later, when it's unofficially time to continue work.

not just today, but most other days as well.

i'm not so much into carom though. it's harmful to my delicate fingernails if i were to give reason, but the truth is i'm not really fascinated by it.

like golf. i detest golf.

carom looked fun though, although occasional loud cheering whenever the carom seeds did out-of-the-world stunts did disturb my concentration in reading the latest china-japan war of words from the internet.

which, i can assure you, is very amusing.

if i were to take side, i'll go with japan anyday.

first, there's no point bringing up sth that happened more than half a century ago. modern japan now is nothing like WW2 japan.

not as if they never apologized bout their past aggression too. even someone so blur would have noticed if they were spoon-fed apology 17 times.

and not like they denied the nanking massacre never happened though. instead of saying 200,000 ppl killed (which btw still being argued as exaggerated figure), they used 'many ppl'. instead of 'massacre' they used 'incident'.

fine, they are a bit underplayed words but this is only one of many choices of textbook available there.

if you ask me, a country who teaches their every single 1.3 billion citizen to hate another country to the core, is the real problem.

the same government obviously have short term memory loss to have written about tiananmen massacre in their own textbook, or bout muslim oppression in the name of terrorism in xinjiang, or bout military operation in tibet just to mention a few.

anyway, the point is, this is such a pointless row, and a pointless topic to debate about too, though i must admit it's such an interesting piece of news to read and discuss.

i mean, surely this sounds more interesting than what president bush hears in his i-pod while cycling, or britney spears pregnancy, or even that micheal jackson court story. and it's definitely more interesting than this genesis training we're going to have later at 2pm.

i attended last week's 1st round training and it was a torture to keep my eyes open throughout the session. nobody in the history of mankind died from extreme boredom yet (as far as i know), otherwise i should point that class out as a health hazard.

well, at least it can keep us off our work for the whole afternoon. maybe i'll use that training time to plan on where to go tonight with CY.


...ed

my first yoga class

attended yoga class for the 1st time today. actually i got this impression that yoga is more towards meditation and ermm...kinda more feminin but wanted to try at least one class to see how it goes.

my female friend seem excited as she said the teacher is leng-chai (not that she's gonna make a move since she's married and frankly, she wasn't in the best shape to seduce him anyway) but i peeked in from classroom window last week and to me he was cute yeah, but a bit aqua-ish.

i couldn't be more right when i was in the class. i guess there hardly anything masculine when you could twist your body 360 degress, i suspect he could even lick his behind if he ever went for it. however, he was nice and warm though..

overall session was surprisingly relaxing, and most importantly it did not start with any weird enchanting that made you think you're in some illegal cult. got a bit hard in the middle and i began to sweat realizing i was short like a meter from touching my own feet with my knees straight. how inflexible my body was.

either that or i swear all other students' legs must be short or sth.

there was this auntie who kept on burping everytime we changed poses, and at least once i heard someone farted while stretching from front row.

i was like 'wow!'



...ed

monster

it amazed me how self-centered and selfish ppl could be sometimes.

even worse when they don't even realized when they are being one.

i was reading this feedback page from s'pore's "today" newspaper last monday when i came across mail from apparently a mother with 2 childs. the topic was about giving seat to pregnant lady in public transport.

this mother was arguing who said pregnant lady needs the seat more than other ppl? she insisted that she needed the seat as much 'coz she'd be tired from hard day work, and as she needed to take care of her children and cook for her husband after she reached home.

besides, if a pregnant lady needs the seat so much, she should flag a cab instead.

i mean, how does that sound?

actually i do think she has slight a bit of a point there, but the fact that she could not think of the safety of both the pregnant lady and her unborn child instead of her mere 'tiredness' hit me.

it's life we're talking about here, not something that you can fix with yokoyoko or salonpas.

more over, if above reason is justified, all other commuters could come up with their own version of excuses too, like need to do bunch of homework at home, or tired from whole day shopping, or even need to protect newly-pedicured toe-nails from ppl's feet.

spending everyday's life striving to get enough money to grab one of those hdb in ballots sure has somehow turned ppl into heartless monsters.

not adorable elmo-like or cute pikachu-type monsters but those in red with long spiky tail walking around carrying fork.

only mails from other readers mentioning how ridiculous above mail sounded yesterday reminded me that i'm not in some kind of living hell or sth.

although coming back home seeing my cow housemate, i'm not so sure anymore.


...ed

crazy old yellers

some yellings off the block woke me up from my deep afternoon nap.

i was bout to get angry but figured it wasn't fair as i didn't understand the yellings (it was in hokkien). i mean, what if the poor guy was yelling for help and i got pissed off? that would be a tad cruel.

anyway, it was time to get up anyway. i was feeling a bit worn out after tennis session this morning, add that later wizz heavy shopping at carrefour plaza s'pura.

they were having warehouse sale and had all these books for 5 dollars each. all sorts of thick hard cover books. i just grabbed a couple that i wanted, or even half-wanted. after all, why care if i ended up not reading them, not like they're 100 bucks then that's money down the drain.

those books and household stuff had both my arms full. it was like carrying 5kg dumbells, only this time i had to walk through the crowds which made double the work-outs.

so it was no wonder i fell into dreamless sleeping-beauty sleep once i reached home. at least, till that yellings began. it has stopped now so i figured at least the building is not on fire or sth.

my hi-fi is still on heavy mariah's rotation. just got it very loud playing 'fly like a bird' number, which is very inspirational and uplifting, with gospel vibe that made me feel i was in some church for black ppl. not that i've been into one, well at least that was how whoopi goldberg did it in sister act.

it helped that my cow housemate is still out, must be still at work. i sincerely hope he's suffering at work now, maybe came across unreasonable customer or sth (he's working at town IT center) so he can taste his own medicine.

as much as i tried to ignore him, can't help still feel the tension if he's around. urghh..i miss my old housemate. if not for that girl seducing him inside office photocopy room prompting them to get married like 5 minutes after that, i'd still have him now.

sigh...

no make that double sighs, as rafael nadal was upset by igor andreev in valencia open tennis. lucky that the williams sisters lost at amelia island otherwise i'd be finding ropes to hang myself with...



..ed

emancipation of who?

bought the new mariah's album 'the emancipation of mimi'.

yup you read the title right. though looking at the cover, there's hardly anything else to emancipate, isn't there?

i must say this one's definitely better than her previous few albums. just hear the voice. as if she's trying to prove that she still has that 8-octave range in addition to her current busty asset.

if i needed to increase my speaker to hear her notes in charmbracelet, in this album she could easily light-up singapore with mere energy of her blazing desibles.

i'm not complaining though. the higher the better.

you see some ppl are just blessed. this girl just scream her lungs out in between those sexy vixen poses and ppl would easily forget those hard-work 20 dollars spent.

one more thing i found amusing? the fact that i enjoyed her lyrically sad songs more. the more dramatic the better. you can have guy-ran-over-by-a-train-on-a-date lyrics and i'd still somehow feel it touched my heart.

not that i have tonnes of such experience of course. i guess ppl take lots of things for granted when they're happy. sad ppl are more sensitive.

for instance, look at ppl after break-ups. they can't see the restaurant they first dated in, can't be in falling autumn leaves where they first kissed under, or even can't use the same scented candles they burned when they first made love.

these things make perfect lyrics. just hear 'we belong together'.

...ed

my housemate is a complete jerk

sometimes i think my housemate is actually a woman.

first, he always leave the toilet seat up after use. 100% of the times. it really made me wonder.

and secondly, i just noticed how moody and unreasonable he can be.

he was supposed to pay his rent in early month but somehow he didn't, so i asked him to pay me today by sms, u know, in a supposedly very lose way 'coz obviously i don't literally need him to pay today.

i was like 'hey, can you pay me the rent today'??

and he exploded like a time bomb that would even caught al-baradei by surprise.

here were his word 'i plan to pay u end of the month..' blah blah blah....(coz obviously i didn't care what the rest was).

i mean, hello..what 'i plan...'?? as if he's doing me a favour in paying the rent. didn't he know i used up my own money to pay his portion to the landlord first??

thinking that i somehow missunderstood him, or he missunderstood me as he did give me cheque for the money he borrowed me end of last month, so i typed back,'you haven't paid the rent yet, right? the cheque you gave me last week was not for the rent..'

and he went,'what's so difficult in paying end of the month instead of beginning of the month? and i know what the cheque i gave you for, thank you very much'.

can you believe that? here i am all bare and innocent (not to mention good-looking too but that's beside the point), and he showered me unexpectedly with raging bullets.

then, not wanting to make things worse, i tried to calm things down. after all, this is the person i'm staying with. i won't want feeling all uncomfortable and irritated everytime i come back from hard day work, so i tried calling him but he didn't pick up. so i smsed, 'i'm sorry if i missunderstood you, i can give a call to clarify'.

obviously, no calling-in for him, and he wouldn't let the matter rest yet either when he went,'i just want to pay at month end, how difficult is it to understand?

at this point, i was tired and didn't give a damn anymore. he wanted end of the month, so end of the month it is. it's not like i'm living out of his money anyway, so u replied short and direct,'ok'.

you would think that by this, it was all over, but he came back,'it's so absurd chasing me for rent'.

gosh i was almost boiling. i was chasing him? i just sent one tiny message asking if he could pay the rent because he didn't pay at date due, and i got slaughtered because i asked? what, i should keep guessing when he'd finally pay me the money?

talking bout being unreasonable and irritating.

what a fat bastard penguin-like cow.

now i'm in my room and he's not back yet. oh no i won't confront him or anything cause i don't want him to throw rubbish inside my room or put nose-shit on my cups or sth, coz god knows how hard it is to quarrel and live under the same roof.

what i'm gonna do is let him be non-existant. as long as he pays me the rent every month end and leave my things as they are, there's no need to talk or bond.

after all, what's the point of bonding with a jerk like that??


...ed

third day of april

it's my birthday today.

i must have gone through this more than 20 times already but still, i must admit it's not like everyday is 3rd april.

gone are the balloons, kids from the same strech of houses and stack of presents. instead, it was a nice and quiet, not to mention, personal celebration after the clock striked 12 last night.

CY came in with a box of cake last night so we lighted up candles in my room, snapping photos with camera phone. it was a chocolate cake (thank god 'coz i really think it's about time ppl realize i detest fruit cake).

he even sang birthday tune for me which i thought was sweet and meaningful. after all, what's the point getting a qoir of songs if ppl don't really mean it.

i did my share of celebrating his birthday too. i was on the street off kallang mrt after sending TJ at changi airport last night when i realized i needed cake for CY. as it was still quarter before 9pm, spontaneously i flagged down a cab and headed towards seah street deli at raffles hotel.

this place serves that uniquely famous 7-layered chocolate cake and for baking-lover CY, this was just perfect. bought a slice together with carrot cake (which i innocently checked whether they added in meat, as the carrot cake i always came upon were the one at kopitiams). those slices already cost me 16 dollars.

however, that was worth it, especially as CY enjoyed them when we munched in minutes after he came in. at least the carrot cake, as we have yet eaten the chocolate one. either way, i already got my moments as he adored that mr bean's brown teddy key chain i handed him. that was definitely a strike.

what was not a strike, was how i thought the days with TJ would have been.

it went surprisingly well as we seemed to have picked up where we actually left off 10 years ago while we were still staying in high-school hostel, few foolish boys who did wonders outside school time.

we visited the memory in various occasions, even shed lights on some long-kept secrets bout this person, regarding that matters etc which would have had consequences if we had known them at that time.

it was simply fun.

so i guess i should made this meeting more frequent, promising myself i'd contact them more often whenever i go back kl for holiday.

ok time to go out now. i'm gonna walk around proud knowing today is my special day and nobody's gonna take this from me.


...ed