the second coming

i'm currently at washington dulles airport waiting room for boarding, and just found out i have to pay USD5.99 for 2 hr wifi connection.

huh? it's airport for god's sake, can't they just give us free internet access? after all it's their fault that we had to come early to accommodate their stupid endless security checks anyway. as if mr L would turn up in american airport and bring goodies in his bags.

you see, this is exactly how singapore changi airport has spoiled me. in singaporean life, being cut off from digital data stream exchange is equivalent to living in a cave. so until i return to civilization, i just have to write this entree on a notepad and copy them later into blogger.

so the last time i wrote was when i just arrived in the states after that 3 hrs misery in washington highways. after 5 days (though somehow it felt like ages ago) i could now bloat that i have the roads network all at the back of my hand (in form of scribbles notes jotted off google map though). like just now, i got to the airport from the city in a breeze 40 minutes drive! how bout a round of applause?

and also now, i have decided that i do not want to work in the states anymore.

shocked? well.. me too to be honest. i hit the brake and made that 180' U-turn when my life was about to jump off to a new start in a new land. it's a long story really. which involved phone calls in my wee hours to my bosses in singapore and a few teardrops in the script.

the thing is, i always thought this new place was like a fairy tale ending for me. everything about it sounded superficial. the work has more prospect, and i'll be living in the states! which, you know, is where all dreams come true.

but now after i'm already here in the states, i found out that it was just another massive land with different landscape and culture. working here means i have to stare at white house or capitol building every weekend, or spending time at the smitsonians museums after work on friday nights. that's why when i took the surprise elements of a new environment out of the equation, prospect at work became the sole reason for my migration.

that for the expense of my family and friends back at home.

i didn't know what was i thinking. last time, one of my friend asked me whether i am ready at heart to leave, and i said yes within 2 seconds. now to think about it, she must have some phsycic power, because she totally could see this coming! for me, it was just a classic example of not knowing what we got until it was almost gone.

stupid huh? i know i am but i couldn't help it. i just don't know what i want sometimes. ok many times. even when we go starbucks, i would stare the menu for like 5 minutes thinking what i want, and then still ended up with some prompt random decisions. i'm just like a flip flop, going from north to south and north again all the time when it comes to make decisions.

but thats just who i am. i'm defective, but i guess it's just the way i evolve. what i'd do is to learn along the way to be a more consistent person. i'll make mistakes, but let's just treat it as a lesson. even if i have to spare more than a grand learning fees to cover up the mistakes.

sigh.

well, at least i don't have to dispose any body yet. although, people might have to dispose mine when i show up in the office after new year.



...ed