devil wouldn't recognize me

i'm not in the best of mood. i wish i don't have this feelings but i did. at this time, blasting kelly clarkson's 'my december' could be very soothing indeed.

it's stupid really. i got all these signs which led me to think in some direction, when i was hoping for the other. worse, people seemed oblivious about it.

maybe it was my fault too. i put myself in the middle of the road, and blamed anyone who hit me. i mean, i wasn't really content in the first place. i guess i just wanted the thrill or something, or be in control.

i should really just go and live under the bridge.

my friday didn't start as good as well. first, i woke up at 3am from stomach pain. i kept on thinking, was it something i ate? i had bread and eggs at home for dinner. maybe the pan was not clean or something.

it wasn't until about 4am that i fall asleep again, to only open my eyes again at 8am! so i was officially late for work.

then some stupid multiple cars piled-up accidents had to happen when i was already rushing. it had to happen too just before my PIE exit so i had to inch through all the way from the east. the normal 15 minutes drive today took almost an hour.

in the office i found out people has been looking for me, the project lead, my boss etc. u know, from the start of this year till today, i had never been late for work and nobody find me that early in the morning. so why today?

what a bummer.

we had lunch at at plaza singapura teppanyaki so the day turned a bit brighter. i love friday lunch because normally this day we go somewhere far and return late. our rule is, anywhere more than 100 metres away from the office, so normally we ended up in plaza singapura or clarke quay the central.

apparently the teppanyaki is part of sakae sushi. i didn't know that. we sat on this table where the cook prepared the dishes in front of us, so it was a bit hot. i was even worried that the oil stained my new white t-shirt.

the food was kinda not big a deal too because all the cook seemed to use was oil, salt, soy sauce and pepper. no brainer.

the day was still busy in the afternoon at work. luckily we got the result we wanted from the lab, so i managed to summed the data up and sent it off to those relevant parties in the US. by 6pm i dashed off the orchard.

normally we struggled to find a place to go every friday night because let's face it, after years living on this tiny island, you kinda go round and round to the same place. it would be bugis, circuit road, holland V, serangoon garden, orchard, vivo city, novena then bugis again and so we go on in circle.

but this time i had my intention clear. i wanted to go paragon to try the soup spoon. someone had it so i just had to know what the fuss was all about. after all, the menu looked interesting. plus, there's a branch of celio there too which i wanted to check out.


i'm not so much of a soup person but i ordered the pumpkin soup anyway, in the bread basket. i was eyeing the beef wasabi wrap actually but my friend is a buddhist so i figured it would be rude to order that. he still teased me for ordering tomyam mee at secret recipe few years back so i was not gonna order something totally out of the main menu.

the food was ok, the bread was pretty nice actually but it was too much carbo for me for one night. the drink was a total miss though. i ordered macchiato because when i was in the states, i loved starbuck's marble mocha macchiato. i would drive in the drive-through on the way to work and the friendly counter lady would be like, 'your normal drink, sir?'.

but in singapore, macchiato is a small cup with thick coffee. it's just like expresso. in fact, i don't even know what's the difference. it was like gulping medicine so i kinda finished my cup in few quick gulps then just shared my friend's ice lemon tea.

there was not much thing to do in orchard as always. the air was all warm outside so we kept strolling inside the building. we stopped by GNC and Nature's Farm because it was my birthday month, so I could get 35% off their products.

so I stocked up some supplements, which totalled up to about $150. think about it, quite a lot huh. but hey.. if i don't take care of my body, what if i need constant medical attention in the future? that would cost a bomb surely.

i reached home at about 11pm. opened up my pc messenger but there was nobody around to buzz. hmmm.. i guess they were all busy partying outside right about now, having time of their life and i'm already home before midnight like some big loser.

i so gonna take out my 3-eyed spear and grow out horns and pointed tails. things gonna get so red this weekend, and if i was being frank, it had kinda did.

...ed

for the record

"This is for my people who just lost somebody"
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady.."

...was what mariah carey sings, again and again inside my head. i swear that was what i hear all day. if rotating songs could generate kinetic electricity, i expect i would be able to light up simei town by nightfall.

the song is just beautifully haunting, so why does it matter if i had not lost anybody as what the lyrics is about? none anybody significantly related anyway. if you count those names inside my phone book that i never know even existed anymore, yeah maybe i could somehow relate.

every now and then, i would browse my simcard contact listings while my colleagues explaining some powerpoints in meetings that i was not interested about. i mean, i could either do this or fall asleep, which is worse because with my PDA phone, people would think i'm jotting down notes or something.

back to my contact listings, sometimes i'd be just amazed of how half the world's population managed to get inside my phonebook when i have no recollection of who these numbers belongs to. seriously. if i don't know any better, i would think the numbers kinda reproduce themselves like a single cell organism.

what these unmeaningful random numbers did, was just took the memory space, while i still struggle to find who to buzz during those boring i'm-like-will-smith-in-i-am-legend no-plan weekends.

don't get me wrong, i love making new friends. people keep talking about inflations and stuff, like during today's normal lunch-time talk-cock session when someone brought up how our income decreases if the annual increment is less than 5%, which is the inflation rate (how we got to discuss nerdy stuff like this, i have no idea).

and i am thinking, maybe you need to make certain number of friends just to have some left when you lost some over the years. call it friendship inflation if you will. having said that, not that i think friends of an asset, or belonging that i need to collect. i think friends as...

ok maybe that was a bad example.

last saturday i went for a dinner with some friends at toa payoh sakura japanese restaurant. with one i've met before and some i have not. i must stressed enough this is NOT part of above friendship-making project or anything like that. just some people met up and well, spent some time together while pushing the salmon population further towards extinction.

it wasn't easy in the beginning. i guess, everybody was too accommodating to others, which was understandable because god knows each other's preference at that moment. i felt like an entertainer being shoved onto the stage without knowing the audience. should i go and sing rock, ballad or hip hop? i had all this thoughts swirling in my head, which i know was silly because at the end of the day simon cowell would have still dissed us if we never be who we are.

i must say the night turned out pleasant. ok that was an understatement because the truth is, i am truly glad i have the chance to spot these people out of 6 billion people in this world. i mean, what are the chances, right?

but again, so were those 3 billion people in my phone book that i could sing 'bye bye' to. no, 30 people.. or whatever.



'bye bye' from E=MC2 is in stores now, and no, mariah carey is not my friend, nor is she inside my phone book.











...ed

miles to go before i sleep

tired. gosh i felt very worn-out. like that pot of leafy plant i always forgot to water outside my kitchen window.

i had just arrived home after a drive back from kl. it was a far and boring drive. god i was damn sleepy till blasting kelly clarkson off my stereo still felt like an afternoon preach. i had to play catch and run with some cars just to stay awake.

it was my sister's solemnization ceremony last sunday. man i couldn't believe she got enganged. i just couldn't believe my lil' sister is all grown-up now.

the ceremony was held at my parent's house because it's a custom to do this at the bride's place. me being there was on perfect timing too because until the ring safely shoved onto her finger, i was kinda like a cheap labour imported from singapore.

ok ok that was a bit exaggerated but we did work our asses off to getting the house ready to receive those 70-over close relatives from both ours and the groom's sides. in the end, everything went on smoothly.

well except the caterer's food arrived late 30 minutes after the event started, and a sudden thunderstorm after the event ended caused the marque outside to collapse.


here's the rings that she got. i realized she did not give any ring in exchange. apparently it's not in the custom (really?). so i said she better give or else people would think he's single.

not that i think he would. he seem like a good man. he better be, or as mariah carey says, i will hunt him down.



i wanted to post my photo taken with her, but standing beside all-made-up-bride, i don't have much of a self confidence hahaha..

plus, i have this aunt who has a motor-mouth. she always talk, well.. bare and uncensored she made madonna sounded like a saint. last sunday she just paraded into our door amongst other attendees, laid eyes on me and asked why i looked so dark and what the hell happened to my hair.

duh.

to my defense, i just came back from the vietnam trip, where the sun was blazing hot. it's no wonder i'm a bit tanned. and my last hair dresser was heavily pregnant, she could be having afternoon sickness or something while giving me that haircut.

but still... that was why the first thing i did after i arrived home just now, was went for a hair trim, you know, despite being all tired and sleepy.

i always favour this place 'hair secretz' at eastpoint. it was monday afternoon so the place was all empty. there were 2 hairdressers doing my hair the same time, i felt every bit like an idol touched-up before a stage appearance. before i knew it, my hair was already in shades of hazel brown!

the shop lady was like, 'just do 3 stripes lah, look more trendy...ok i give you 4 stripes for price of 3'... and i fall for it. in the end i got 9 stripes when all i wanted to do was having a haircut.

god i'm such an easy ripped-off. although i must say i quite like the hazel shades in the end hehe..


after all, why not, right? i just adores people with opinions, because most of the time i have none. if she were to ask how i wanted the hairstyle, most probably i'd go, 'what do you think?' instead.

not just that, but in everyday life too. 99% of the time i'm content to just follow other people's suggestions. i'm like water filling every bends and curves with zero ability to carve my own path.

in fact, i don't understand even my own heart sometimes. i'm missing people that i should not have, and i'm abandoning people that i should care. the affairs of the heart just go haywire as far as i'm concerned.

what i'm sure of, is affairs of the bed. time for my well-deserved hybernation...




...ed

it's my birthday... again.

it's my birthday... again.

forgive me for not sounding ecstatic or all-over-the-moon. i'm still feeling blessed, having able to last one more year without serious crisis in my small non-significant life, but there was not much joy to celebrate either.

for all i know, it's just another beautiful thursday morning. although if i tell the truth, i did feel a bit cheerful the moment i woke up. but again, i'd feel cheerful even if i just had dinner plan on that day.

the best thing about birthdays, is that you get to feel the warmth when people actually bother to know and wish you. so i was like counting my blessings the whole day. everytime people stopped by and wished me, i'd be like, 'oooo thanks! how did you know?', whilst fantasizing as if i was the most popular boy in college.

at noon, this colleague of mine asked me to join them for a lunch outing. she never asked me on normal days, so when later someone accidentally let slipped about lunch birthday celebration, i pretended to be suprised.

we had lunch at ichiban sushi at plaza singapura. there were about 20 of us, i felt so blessed having them not only to discuss technical matters. plus, i always love this place! the sushis are generous, fresh and cheap. i mean, it has the same price with sakae sushi but double the goodness.


cake and sushi. weird combination huh?
but who cares? i'm not complaining...


and here's my super cool colleagues cum friends

...


it must be from the excitement, or could be from the horror of stepping one more year deeper into 30's year-old zone, i only managed to eat a little. just a mere 5 plates. but the cake that came out in the middle of our chit-chatting was a pleasant suprise. i honestly did not expect that.

it was a mid-sized cheese strawberry cake from bengawan solo. thank god it was not some fruit-filled cake, or worse, mango cake. i mean, it could be a bit depressing having something you don't really like on a day like this.

with the cake there were 3 big candles and 5 smaller ones. ok i might go on a limb here but that means 35, right? gosh.. so rude. but my friend later explained that the shop lady gave few extras on purpose in case some got bended etc. a lot extras.

right. what a nice recovery...

it was raining very heavily when the clock striked 5.15pm and it was time to go home. that damn murphy's law was working full force again. well at least i wouldn't feel so bad for not having any dinner outing plan. i could just blame it on the pouring rain.

but yet, i couldn't help feeling a bit gloomy, just like the weather. i hesitated to call up my dear friend, who by the way stopped celebrating birthdays when he crossed 30. his birthday was just 3 days earlier, so i figured it was too much to ask when we barely celebrated his.

i was half way dragging myself back through the PIE when it was decided that i were to have dinner with another dear friend. like a reflex i burnt my tyres boarding the TPE heading north.

we had dinner at northpoint's sakura thai restaurant. the food was great, but the company was even better. i was truly grateful for the invitation so i did owe him a big enourmous earth-shattering gravity-defying monster hug ;p

like all good things come to an end, the night fell and the curtain closed. another day passed by to be preceded by an entirely new day. i whole-heartedly wish for the next April 3rd won't come in a hurry.

but first, it would still be April 3rd in the United States tomorrow where i was actually born. which means i have 24 hours more to count my blessings *grin*


'Happy Birthday to me!!'





...ed