shut up + back to basics

i have a bad mouth.

not physically of course. my lips are wonderfully proportional. at least i think it is.

it's just that sometimes i say things i should not say and it gets me into trouble. it's like a defect. you know, when you purchase something from the shop and it comes with a guarantee period from any anomaly? just that instead of being able to repair this defect, i have to live with it.

and man my mouth was in full force yesterday.

a new female engineer joined our department. it's always an exciting thing when new engineers coming in because people are curious. they'd easily become the topic of our conversations during lunch time crap-talking sessions.

only that this time i made this comment about that new girl, that 'she is a stretched version of this ex-colleague' unknowingly to her own boyfriend, who was having breakfast with us. right on his face.

and guess what, since they were not going public with the relationship it's not that he could say anything to me. but the damage is done. i'm already a bit uncomfortable when he's around.

lesson learned, always check someone's background before making any comment because god knows that person is the person-you-talk-with's girldfriend, or sister, mother, god-mother, pet or anything.

i don't know what they are thinking. people talk about things like this, especially the juicy stuffs. it's only natural. when we always get our brains to solving technical issues, it's the only time we feel like human with decent social lives.

for instance, take yesterday, when the CEO of the company mentioned that our company is not doing very well in the market and so there will be restructuring. then later in the afternoon another mail came, this time from our own managing director, saying that they are now working on 'voluntary workforce renewal' details.

sure enough if you walk through the isles of cubicles that afternoon, you'd see small groups of people appeared out of nowhere like mushrooms after the rain in every isles. it's as if the lecturer just gave the whole class an assignment :-

'voluntary workforce renewal : discuss'.

everybody has their own speculations. it's almost felt festive. only that it's not actually a good news. duh, it's that R word they were talking about.

it's ironic that our company is not doing well when singapore's economy as a whole is booming. booming economy always trailed by increase of prices and stuff, so we are the worse case ones. now that it's unlikely to hope for big increments or bonuses this year, yet we had to face 2% gst increase islandwide, and in case of that damn starhub, a $15 to $25 dollar increase of the monthly sports channel subsription.

man i must learn how to live without sports channel. or do something about this tennis addiction. do they have rehabilitation center for this kind of problem? it's hard. i just don't want to follow federer vs nadal match using internet online live scoreboard. i'd feel like a loser.

it's a relief i've already bought this christina aguilera's back to basic concert tour tickets worth $188 ages ago, bcoz in time of company turmoil like this, purchasing hundreds of dollars for a pop-act ticket is surely an extreme and irresponsible gesture.

the concert is tonight. i'm so excited i'm thinking to go orchard and buy things i can wear to the concert tonight. it has been ages since i last went to one. i mean, i don't even know what people wear to concerts nowadays.

i'm going to changi in half an hour to pickup my friend from bangkok who's going to join me tonight. we are so gonna paint the singapore indoor stadium red.



...ed

louder louder voices in my head

i went to UOB branch in bendemeer road last friday during lunch time. i wanted to ask them to list down all giro deductions from my accounts 'coz i have a feeling money kept being deducted here and there lately.

when i was at the counter, the lady asked me, ' may i see your passport or your work permit?'.

work permit!

i was dumbstrucked. ok i know i don't look like a typical local guy but must they stereotyped me like that? i mean, i'm still ok with the passport thingy, but work permit? what, do i have the work permit holder look or something?

but as always i didn't complain. i just smiled it away.

that's my problem, i am too nice. i'm the kind that keep it all inside, and later go to find some voodoo dolls type of person.

well that's among what living in japan has taught me. the art of being hypocrit.

instead, i went on to meet their financial planner personnel to discuss about my financial plans. after the house, then the car, i figured i really need to start managing my money more systematically. especially after my father blurted out, 'do u have savings for wedding?' the moment i mentioned the car purchase.

so i sit there for 20 minutes hearing this guy explaining about various types of plans but what i could think of was, 'gosh this guy's breath smells'.

i mean, you'd think that being in a customer oriented service like this would make them take care their physical appearance a little bit more carefully. i work in the lab, but i still goggle my mouth with listerine every morning and dab on refresher.

it's just not at the bank. even just now at the saloon, the girl drying my hair has smelly breath too, which was worse because i was strapped down in the chair and couldn't move. i felt like i was being punished. thank god she was only the dryer girl not the hair stylist or else i'd have to find another place.

am i just being ridiculuous? i'm not a clean freak you know, if you drop by my place unannounced you'd find how normal my place is, with groceries left in shopping bags by the door, used cups beside the tv and the bed that never made.

so you see why i'm not so keen to sign up for the financial stuff. i'm on the fence actually but all these minor things just pushes me one side.

although looking at how i spent my money this weekend could undo just that.

yesterday i called the electrician because my ceiling spotlights kept getting burned and that's money down the drain. i wanted to get them changed to 12V bulb type because they are cheaper, consume less electricity and easy to find. hopefully they don'tburn easily too.

little did i know that each bulb needs to be installed with a transformer that costs $18 each. $18 each! and i have like 30 spotlights. that's not gonna work, so i asked them to do only my bedroom 'coz that's where i'm in most of the time anyway. ok $200+ gone.

then i called the carpenter to fix my kitchen worktop, you know, the one being drenched by water from the sink. he quoted $750 and i agreed. i didn't even know how much it would cost, i just prayed hard he was not cheating me or something.

paid my condo maintanence fee for half a year until december too. another $1000+.

man those are a big hole in my pocket it's almost obscene. if there's any consolation, at least all of that are easily justified, right? i mean, it's not like i bought xbox-360 and playstation-3 like this friend of mine in my office. both of them could easily cost the same amount of money that i just spent, and only for some stupid games.

although i did give myself a treat when i bought christina aguilera's back to basics singapore concert tour ticket off sistic last week. the show is going to be on june 30 and i'm going with this friend from bangkok. i'm so excited. i got the next expensive seat for $188, which is expensive but hey, i need to get in touch with my cool side sometimes.

this is totally one off. really.

where i'll be on june 30th at s'pore indoor stadium

so you see why i need the financial planning.

i just don't need people to ask me for work permits.

or buzz my msn saying hi then disappear. what are they thinking? gosh.



...ed

and you love, and you hate, and you wait

'coz one minute goes fast.

and it was a fantastic 4 night last night. for the 2nd time during this summer block buster season, i went out with my colleagues to watch, simply because some other people's schedule just couldn't be anymore wrong.

well anyway, it was still good. you know, the reason i felt upbeat about worklife nowadays is partly because of the company of these wonderful people so it's not like i'm complaining.

not much anyway.


we watched the movie at the cathay beside plaza singapura. the funny thing is, i've never noticed this building before. it's either on my blind spot or just simply very forgettable. it's huge and everything but kinda too whitish so i guess after such lively plaza singapura outlook on the front, this cathay building is just too pale to be noticed.



ok time for my verdict of fantastic 4 - rise of the silver surfer. well, i feel that this fantastic 4 has the same problem as spiderman 3. it has superb actions and cool special effects (i love it when sue storm displayed her energy bind power. i have this thing about strong powerful female to be frank) but the storyline sucks. i mean, and i must warn that this is a spoiler big time, this surfer guy kept destroying planets to save his own but after meeting jessica alba, he resorted to blowing himself up to save the earth, which he could have done long ago. talk about too sudden change of heart.

and lesson derived from this movie, is that suicide bombing saves the world in the end when nothing else does. sounds familiar? now who came up with this storyline i don't know, but this is apparently what hollywood planted on our minds, among other ridiculous ideas. i mean, how bad a storyline you could get?

nevertheless i was still entertained throughout the show. the jokes were good, we laughed a lot and if that was not a good time i don't know what it was. only that, the one suggested the outings was in a hurry to go back after the movie so everybody promptly followed to go back too. it was a bit like, you know, when people rush to dress up and leave immediately after sex that makes you feel they are insincere about the whole thing, leaving you feeling a bit cheated.

so there were we in a what must be one of the hippest place among youngsters on friday night, and we were taking the lift down at 9.30pm? the only consolation, was that there were mostly kids at the cathay. seriously. i felt a bit like i was on a kindergarten outing out there. so when my friend left, i decided to go back too before anybody thought i was babysitting or something. not to mentioned i feel like about a 100 years old there.

plus i need to relax a bit. that's what weekends should be for, right? recharging used up body and mind. i already had a busy day the day before, work and outside work.

there was this departmental meeting on thursday when the boss asked me to present my technical work. i already had the material prepared when i sent my report previously so it was only a matter of converting it to a presentation-for-dummies format. when you present something too technical and dry, people tend to lose it in the middle. after all, we are all normal people, not nerds that get orgasm everytime seeing complicated equations on board. ok most of us not anyway, so i got to make that as simple as i could.

it turned up ok. in fact, i was enjoying it. even threw some jokes around to make it lively. who says technical presentation must be dead serious? it was my one way of calming myself from all the stage fright. other tips would be to consistently remind myself that i was the topic master, and the rest has no clue about it so why should they intimidate me?

i wasn't very lucky at night when we played our bowling league after work. i lost 1-3 in individual but overall my team still won 13-7. i hate to lose. that guy just wacked the balls as hard as he could. i was confident to win until he got 4 strikes in a row in final frames, making me feel like the world was against me. have i offended any bowling lane spirits or something? otherwise tell me how could among my first 6 throws, 3 were splits. my lady luck must be vacationing in the middle east and got blew up or something.

ok i feel that this post gets a bit too wordy. i start to feel as if i'm preaching. to balance it out, here are my pictures of my new goldfish that i bought from qianhu fish farm in chua chu kang last weekend (gold ranchu $25, lionhead black oranda $8). yes i travelled across the whole island just to get 2 tiny lil' fish, call me a fish freak.

golden ranchu. i love this one, should've gotten one long ago

black lionhead oranda. now you see why i said this is hard to see

i kinda regret buying the black oranda because i can't see the fish properly in the tank due to dark wallpaper. i should have gotten a bright coloured more prominent ones. oh well. the golden ranchu was spot on though.

oh btw about the tennis match i wrote about last time, nadal won. yaaayyy!! i sure bragged about it A LOT the next day, now i need a period of repent before i jinxed him further. he already lost in grass court queens tournament yesterday. you see, one minute you win, one minute you lost. as kelly clarkson sings it, nothing ever really lasts.

truly.

...ed

one week and i'm still sober

it's french open men final nadal vs federer now on super sports.

but here i am writing blog instead of following the match. you know, despite having waited the whole day for it.

the truth is, i can't bare to watch. i could have a heart attack. plus, i must stop all this swearings and cursings now otherwise i risk myself becoming an unpleasant person.

wait. ok federer just levelled the match one set to one.

damn.

well, worst comes to worst, it's their lives and not mine. so one will get the 1.3 millon dollars prize, and and the loser about half a million. big deal. i'd still have the same amount of money in my account tomorrow.

ok maybe less $15 to pay for this sports channel monthly subscription.

but still, gosh i hope nadal wins. at least i won't have the urge to chain the main door and pull my trigger tomorrow at work everytime anybody dare to bring up the result.

which they would. totally would. people just need to learn to keep things to themselves sometimes and see how harmonic the world would be. it would be plain boring, but at least it's peaceful.

my parents didn't say anything last week when they first saw my golden striked hair. man, i was scared shit when i went to pick them up at the bus stop. when i greeted them under the hot sun, which surely made my highlighted hair 10 times more obvious, i wished i were a tortoise so that i could pull my head in.

but then there were no comment. as if they thought i was born a blonde. it was a bit like heroes season finale when you anticipated that big blow up in new york city but in the end it never came true.

only that in my case, i never wished anybody to blow up. in fact, i'm grateful because i didn't have to go through the whole prepared reasoning speech.

i guess this is just a stage every parents must go through. 'out of hand children' phases. at least i coloured my hair. not taking drugs, kill people or anything. be grateful.

we attended the wedding ceremony of my father's cousin in tampines and punggol. i must say, i never expected the wedding ceremony here to be so eventful. there were so many performances, i felt like i was on a night out for a concert or something.

you know i never prefer those posh hotel wedding dinners. have you seen your colleagues' face when they were handed the red invitation card? it's like, 'oh no i'm invited. you're not? man, you're so lucky..'.

which truly is. i mean, how can you pray for any couple's long lasting love together when you have to spend late night at their wedding (most of the time during weekdays when you have to work the next day), being pinned to your prearranged seat with zero chance to interact with other people, eating from the mere mercy of the waiters and waitresses, and still being charged a fortune (hong bao) for it?

the only reason we do not curse for a divorce is that we are afraid they would marry again with other people and still invite us.

on the other hand, the wedding held in house blocks are more personal. you get to mingle around and bond between the two families. that's what the whole point is, right?

although i don't think i bonded with anybody that night but still, it was great fun. thanks for inviting me.

happy wedding day!!

now my parents are safely back in their hometown, leaving me alone and full of freedom again in between these stone walls.

which apparently also housed a badly molded kitchen cabinet. urghh. i accidentally discovered it while searching for the plunger underneath the sink. it was so bad that parts of the wood already turned black and fell apart.

man, that surely needs replacement. i can bet it's not cheap. oh this sucks. i use that kitchen like 5 times since i bought this place and it still breaks down. it's almost like no justice already in this world, we might as well pisses off the next person we see.

i don't even know who to call or where to go to get this fixed. add that with a couple of light points that are not working and water flowing too slowly down the drain in the bathroom and it's official i live in a cave. a damn expensive cave that takes my whole prime life to pay for, that is.

a cave with life threatening basement car park that is full with cars that can hit your accurately-inside-the-white-line still-with-a-price-tag beloved car at front, back and sides anytime of the day.

by the way, i just met the guy who hit my car few weeks ago. i was parking mine and he had just parked his hyundai matrix. now see who has the better parking skill, at least i didn't hit anybody.

he was polite as i had expected when he introduced himself. we just corresponded via sms last time so this was the first time we met face to face. i was eager actually to see who is this out-of-this-world responsible person. for all i know, he could be the reincarnation of mahatma gandhi or something.

turned out he's young and good looking too. i wonder that bitch in the front seat know what a good catch she had made.

ok i'm kidding! scratch that last sentence.

i guess i'm just jealous everytime i see a perfect guy. even one with horrible driving skills. i just have to be one. a perfect guy i mean. not one with horrible driving skills. though i don't mind having a horrible driving skills whilst being a perfect guy.

i'm blabbering. i better return to the match, so later..



...ed

i only say it 'coz i can

it's 7am in the morning.

i'm writing on my new chair i bought in IKEA yesterday before my parents arrived. my father kept on dragging the dining chair everytime he wanted to use my pc because the old one was too small for him, so i figured i should buy a bigger one.

plus, i really need to be comfortable in order to get all the creative juice out when i write my blog, you know like jk rowling used to sit in her favourite cafe while writing harry potter. especially when it has been awhile since i last wrote.

not intentionally of course.

blame it on intel motherboard. when i decided to upgrade my pc, my friend was like, 'take intel it's more stable with intel processor'. strike one.

then the shop people (bliss in sim lim square) after he opened my old pc to transfer my hard disk to my new assembled one, 'oh you were using matsonic. lousy motherboard'. strike two.

and so i foolishly agreed. strike three game over.

take this. only in the second night, the 965RX intel motherboard suddenly shut down while in idling mode, kicking my house electric fuse off in the process. whatever happened was so serious that the fuse kept kicking back when i tried to restore the fuse.

i imagine the people in matsonic would laugh off their chair if they know about this. i could go in their advertisement saying how my matsonic never blew up as opposed to this well-known 'brand I'.

i am never gonna use intel mother board again.

why the hell that it took a week (which equals to like forever in my life without a working pc) to get a replacement? i mean, what if i were the man in pentagon in front of a red button with the word 'press to launch missile' written in bold on it? do i get a week off because the damn replacament motherboard has yet to arrive?

it's ridiculous. and just to get replacement. i shudder to think how long it takes to get it repaired next time.

by the time i got back my life, i mean my pc running, i already got back my car from the workshop so there was little left to bitch about what happened in the car park earlier.

actually, not that i would. bitch about i mean. well not much anyway. it all started when i went down to the basement carpark one innocent saturday afternoon to go out to buy lunch and i saw my car front bumper dented.

my car was hit! my not-even-3-months-old car. apparently the car parking at the side brushed it off when pulling out of the car park.

so there was i standing didn't know what to do and was about to cry out loud 'oh god why me' when i spotted this white paper slipped under the wiper.

it reads, 'knocked into your front bumper. please contact me. XXXXXXX roy'.

and so i did. the culprit was actually a hyundai matrix car with a 28 years old owner who later, finished each of his phone messages to me with 'sorry for causing such inconvenience'.

that, my friend, in metropolitan singapore social life, is equivalent to a dalai lama act.

how can i swear to such a person? i almost wanted to take him as my godbrother instead.

he offered to pay me himself if the repair cost was about $200 but when you go to the original workshop, they aren't exactly gonna have cost-cutting in mind when repairing. it ended up a whopping... you know i don't even know how much it really costs. the other party is the one going to pay anyway so does it really matter for me?

"my 'defeated car'
thereafter when i was on the road driving the nissan sunny temporarily provided by my insurans company, i'd look longingly everytime i spotted a black latio on the road.

and it does leave a dent phsycologically in me too. it's like you had sex the first time and think you'll never be virgin again. everything changed. now everytme i park my car, i'd chose the spot with a wall or pillar on the non-exit side so none will brush off my car ever again. the last thing i want, is to go nissan workshop and being greeted, 'oh you again', innocent or guilty.

the second last thing i want? for this dry season to go on.

oh god.


...ed