an affair to remember. or not...

i'm not in a good mood.

i just called D just now and i got wrong number, even though i know it was D who answered. it was pretty obvious i don't know who was this person kidding.

that just confirmed my suspicion when my few recent attempts for communication failed. unanswered mails are still ok but when sms goes unreplied, you kinda get the hitch sth's gone wrong.

what is it with distance? the moment 2 ppl be apart, whatever that is holding between them cracks, and go into the drain. like it never happened at all. and this is not the first time. last time i got sms saying 'i'm already attached don't bother me' sms after being away for 3 months.

this just proved that certain relationships are just based on physical encounters. as simple as that. i mean, that is only the difference, right? ppl can still get emotional intercourse while being 8000 km apart.

the thing is, some ppl do manage to hide this fact brilliantly. they can be super nice and caring to you face to face, body to body, giving you false hope that everything's heaven but the fact is they have selective memory the moment they realized you won't be nearby to fulfill their certain needs.

well, not that it really matters to me. after all, this was just an affair.

an affair!

affairs are not meant to be long lasting. in fact, it's better that it's short-lived so that it won't disrupt real relationships. after all, affairs are the hottest for the first few times and get colder as time goes on. with D, it was just a hang-out, or rather hang-outs.

i'm not gonna be disappointed at all because of this. in fact, it was stupid just to let this affects my mood. i mean, is it worth it? yeah, D was there when i was alone and needed company before, and yeah D kinda changed my perception of star wars and watching it from the sofa won't be the same thing again, but those were it. full stop.

but still, having sth is always better than not having anything. this must be the lesson i got from all these years living in s'pore. greedy and never satisfied.

which is why in some way i'm grateful for this temporary work attachment in the states, where i can tune back my negative attitudes to being a better human being again. everyone knows those americans are god's greatest creation ever.

i mean, just look at their leader. he can tell there were WMDs in iraq eventhough they could not be seen by naked eyes or satellite. such a superb skill. now when he says iran is building nuclear weapons, iran is building nuclear weapons. in fact, it's a matter of time before he actually realized that ahmadinejad is actually osama with his beards shortened and trimmed.

so i'm sure there's a lot i can pick-up from this great great land. hey, i even managed to pick up driving skills here thanks to the big roads and absence of reckless drivers.

if i'm lucky, i could pick an affair or two here too. who knows???


...ed