all i ever wanted

you know, i tried hard to treat today just like any other day.

..because for all we know, today is indeed just like any other day. nothing significant, just another page in the calender. come tomorrow, i'm sure nobody's gonna even remember what's going on today.

unless, you know, if japan really shoots down that north korea's satellite, or abdullah, uppss.. tun abdullah badawi suddenly decided not to pass down his job to najib tun razak.

man.. imagine the chaos.. ppl would be talking about 3 April for years.. just like 9-11 has become.

however, chances are, nothing of those are gonna happen tomorrow. why should they? nothing fascinating happened in the world anymore nowadays since everybody is busy facing the recession.

3 April is gonna come and go, and let's face it, even if they skip a day and let the date be 4 April tomorrow, nobody's gonna even notice.

but still, i couldn't help it. by right, i should just do my routine weekdays night - play mobwar, facebooking, check the latest tennis score, catch the latest episode of lost, then sleep while watching friends.

except, everything i do tonight i feel like there's significance to it to my one year from now. like just now, i even made my bed, and tidied up my room a little bit because i was afraid if i left them all messy by the time the clock striked 12, they would be messy all year long. i threw away the garbage and also opened my windows up wide to let all the good wind inside. even my underwear i chose a bright red coloured one.

i never think myself as superstitious. ok sometimes when i watched tennis live on tv i felt that my sitting position could affect the outcome, or everytime when i blow the birthday cake candles, i really thought my wish would come true but i'm sure those are the only ones. full stop.

the fact is, i'm really emotional facing this day. i know ultimately age are just numbers but people judge you by that number. i mean, let's say you look for a job, wouldn't it make a difference if you are 25 vs 35? or even 45? it really affects your chance on landing the job, isn't it? .. and people say age are just numbers.

the truth is, i'm pretty comfortable at where i am now. and when i'm comfortable, i wouldn't want to leap out from my comfort zone. especially when the zone is probably moving towards the natural path of life.

they said, 4 things we cannot avoid in this life - birth, sickness, old and death. and i'm probably already more than halfway through there. if i'm the petrol meter inside cars, i couldn't even get through singapore custom to get to malaysia without being fined.

there, i mentioned the word 'fined' in my first blog after 3 April. you'd think i won't freak out...

anyway, i just wanna state down that for another year, i wish to be more prosper, happier, healthier, and blessed.

amen.

.. and now blow the candles...




...ed