let my fingers do the talking

i submitted my resume to the new company branch last week. i'm so glad i finally did it, like a burden finally off my chest. at least now the ball is in their court.

after a short break last weekend, i've been trying to get on track as usual but my motivation just wasn't there anymore. god forbid, now i dread to go to work where time seems to stand still.

i really need a time off.

i updated my friendster account today. created an account few years back but never seriously put anything into it. everybody else seems to be using it then, it already sounded a bit lame. i mean, do i need to jump in the bandwagon?

plus, i felt a bit uneasy when the people i know read the stuff that i wrote. like they're invading my privacy. ok i know i wrote it for the public but public for me is faceless audiences, not someone i know the first name of.

i guess i'm just having problem showing my weaker side to the people around me. i mean, i'd never discuss about my lower increment to them, or my frustation when my subordinate being promoted above me, or even the fact that i felt bad when my msn messages went unanswered.

i just thought that if i had written it down, it would become true. it would become facts and not just my sentiment.

but i guess, you can only run away that far from reality. so here i am posting thoughts and blogs in my friendster account. if i'm lucky, my colleagues who are among my contacts there won't even notice my postings. think about it, why should they?

i've long given up of finding anybody in my office. engineers are boring people anyway, and that is just not totally my sour grapes. so my good friend found his now-wedded-wife in the office copy machine room. big deal. do the rest of us need to make two of unnessary things and cause more trees to be chopped down?

after all, if things are meant to happen, they will happen. we just need to make the best of it.

i mean, look at britney spears. she's married, ok, was married, have kids and everything but look what she ended up into? drunken divorcee that could not even lip-synched properly and now facing hit and run charge.

but again, she's filthy rich at least. and me? i still have to go to work tomorrow and keep watching my watch every 10 minutes hoping it's already 5 o'clock.

maybe i should start copying more papers.



...ed