first dance from afar

i don't like attending weddings.

i used to like the foods, the gatherings when we can chit-chat with our table-mates, table-hopping in between servings, also i like the facts that i can dress-up a bit for the occasion, 'coz when you work as an engineer you're only allowed to wear boring clothes to work.

but recently i started to feel something when i see the matrimonies. the more romantic it is, the more uncomfortable i feel. like just now when i went to this colleague's wedding dinner at sentosa 'the arches.

i was standing at the building balcony overlooking the opening surrounded by oil lamps ala survivors where the couple began their first dance, being led by musicians playing violins and organ at one corner, when i felt something in my heart.

i saw other ppl watching the dance admirably step by step from aside and i very much like to be one of them but i couldn't help feeling envious inside. yeah i think that was the feeling. seeing my old friend whom i played bowling with last time now working in the states and marrying one of the high profile and respected figure in the company, not to mention he's japanese and good looking too.

she has got everything she wanted, didn't she? it's frustrating to see other ppl's good fate and compare it to mine. not that mine's entirely bad but let's face it, i'm not getting married anytime soon. in fact, i'm not sure i'll ever will however bad my father wants me too, so this is something still out of my reach. i hate it when i have things that i cannot have, yet easily accessible to other ppl. it's like i'm cursed or sth.

the were 2 other couples on my table. one of them was this attractive guy with a quite charming girl which looked so in love with each other. the guy from the other couple was not that attractive but at least he has got a wife beside him. me? i was having empty seat on my right, and a rather talkative sometimes annoying colleague on my left. i don't understand where these ppl found their respective soulmates. mine for all i know already drowned in last year's tsunami or maybe among those perished in world war 2.

so when i saw the bride just now playing some tunes from the organ specially for her newly-wedded husband, and when the groom made a touching speech for his newly-wedded wife, i felt so jealous. when i realized i was being surrounded by bunch of married ppl or those already started planning their wedding ceremonies, i felt like a loser.

which is so not what i was expecting to feel on christmas day, after travelling half the island and dropping 80 dollars note in the reception box.


...ed

all i want for christmas

it's christmas eve. if i were going down the chimneys around the world distributing present later, i must be doing some last minute servicing of the sleigh and feeding the reindeers by now.

oh, and also printing the excel file with list of childrens name with 'good' or 'bad' written in the next columns. 'good' in bold green and 'bad' in bold red.

the thing is, i'm not. for once, i'm sitting alone now in my room playing xbox 'top spin'.i just lost in the rolland garros final, so i'm a bit down. ppl must be busy partying outside with friends and special ones, having time of their lives so you probably think i'm a loser.

but hey, i was in a grand slam final, so tell me who's having a lifetime rush of adrenaline?

who needs a christmas party anyway? this year's christmas sucks. everything leading to tonight has been a disappointment.

first, there was this christmas high tea organized by our office department yesterday. yup i typed that right. christmas high tea. who ever heard of that? it was always christmas lunch in previous years. it's like.. married couple not giving wedding dinner in a grand ballroom, but instead, wedding high tea. think they'll live happily ever after?

and the mc, was last year's mc. 4 million ppl roaming this island, they have to resort to the same person. not that i have anything towards repetition, or loyalty for that matter, perhaps this person even came in discounted price this year, but having done his very best last year, he was left with 2nd choice games, tricks and jokes.

so there we were, sitting in not-so-posh furama hotel in chinatown, listening to sub-par programs and eating mediocre foods (no christmas pudding!). cheap and unusable animal suction hanger with words "kiddies enjoy the party time in a bath" in the box that i got for christmas exchange gifts didn't help improve my sentiment.
you'd think it's the thoughts that count, but having received the gift at the entrance reception instead of santa clause distributing from his red sacks last year, i was void of any christmas-sy feelings.

the announcement of the best decorated lorong also was quite an anti-climax. it turned out instead of 2 top prizes, the management decided to award all the lorongs. yes all. then they gave this crap that since everybody gave their whole-hearted effort to decorate, all then should be awarded.

puhleez, that is so only an excuse for not having the gut to call off a winner. it's only right in every competition there'll be winners and losers. it's common sense. think those ppl not coming in top 3 in olympics should also get their respectives medals just because they had given 'their whole-hearted effort'?

so forgive me for being bitter about this year's christmas. having my luck as if turned upside down, i'd be safer and happier at home minding my own little business.

i don't even plan to come down changi airport to pick up my brother later past midnight. he's coming back from jeddah and will stay the night befora taking a bus trip back to kl tomorrow. i'll just inform him my address and ask him to take a cab here.

which makes more sense, considering i'll have to sit quietly by the fireplace waiting for santa with a sauce pan in my hand, in case he's giving me some crappy present.


merry xmas everyone!



...ed

animal city

tomorrow is the official release date of the chronicles of narnia, lion, witch and the wardrobe in singapore.

which i can't be bothered. they could put the cinema screen in front my main door for all i care, and i'd just walk pass through it.

ok maybe not. i caught the show last weekend in JB, half price, and i must say i quite loved it! those talking animals were cute! ..and the queen witch was cool (..and this has nothing to do with her wintery power...)

the only thing is, i appreciate the movie for like 5 minutes before we shifted to another cinema room to catch king kong back to back.

this one is a blockbuster. it was thrilling. the skull island should the last place you want to be with all the weird primitive tribes by the sea shore, those gigantic dinasours stumping everything on their way, those flesh eating carnivours, human size insects, and of course the big ape itself...

now if only the cinema would be void from noisy underage childrens.

it was irritating. some kids were actually running down the isles making noise while their parents became selectively deaf to the nuisance they created. i felt like grabbing those damn kids and throw them head down into t-rex's throat.

seriously.

while narnia's winter ends with the witch's death (or so i assumed that she died because after aslan jumped on her, she was only seen lying on the ground for like 2 seconds. but again, after a lion jumped on you, you'd not be left taking a nap, wouldn't you?), it's still winter in my office.

in fact, it has never been this cold and wintery before. we had cotton snow in every corners, floors and ceilings. the christmas decoration activities was in full force last monday, the day when the judging began. also the day singapore was hit with a serious cotton deficiency.

the best decorated office space result will be announced this friday during the christmas lunch, which i'm so looking forward to. the event last year was a big hit, all enjoyable and fun so i hope this year will be a good one too. the only thing i'm sure of is that it'll be spring in our lorong if we were selected as the winner.

oh, and that there'll be strictly no children during the whole event...



...ed

dangling mistletoes on christmas eve

i just ate toasts for dinner today. toasts! i just felt bloated, like i've eaten too much for the day. i even considered going swimming while walking by the pool on the way back just now. the almost-empty pool looked so tempting but i almost fell asleep in the mrt making me think that i should pamper myself for a good rest tonight.

at work ppl started to decorate their lorong with christmas decorations. we're having this the best-decorated lorong competition which will be due this friday. i thought ppl won't be interested. first, what could we buy with $20 budget? like a few branches off the christmas tree... then, what wld each of us get even if our lorong does get the $150 prize, shared by 15 ppl? like a few cents...

but apparently i was wrong. there were arches in between cubicle partitions with dangling stars, cotton-made snowman, cardboard fire place, even a complete christmas tree dangled with lights. now how's that? i heard ppl even organized meetings to plan their own lorong's decorations. i mean, either ppl are too free from work or maybe i just underestimated father christmas.

the worse thing is, with that kind of atmosphere, ppl almost don't feel like working. how could they? sitting beside the christmas tree surrounded by fake presents, ppl would almost wish for a reindeers trip to get to the lab.

after work, i dropped by raffles place to collect plane ticket for my brother. he'll be flying from kl to s'pore tomorrow on the way to jeddah, so i'll have to pass him the ticket after work at changi. gosh, i always envy ppl that travels for work. it's like the best thing. work for like 5 minutes and spend the rest of the time sight seeing. and being paid for it!

me? i only get to do work under dangling mistletoes.


...ed

swallow me then spit me out

i didn't have chance to utter this out loud but...

MARTINA HINGIS IS BACK!!

it's crap that i don't have anybody around to share this piece of good news. well i have, but not someone who'll care. for all they know, hingis back on the news is like hearing weather forecast of guatemala.

the only tennis fan i know, which is this colleague, is not a hingis fan. and even in ATP tour, he prefers federer than nadal, which is just plain boring.

what ever happened to exclusive good taste?

gosh i missed hingis. i know it's not like i've met her before but i'm glad she's back. the last time when she ruled the tour i wasn't in any position to watch her matches. now at least i can put my 42 inch tv and my S$15 monthly sports channel subscription to a good use.

this may sound crazy but we even look alike! well not that i don short skirt, though i do say a girl is like a man when i see one, but some said that parts of my face resemble hers. or hers resemble mine 'coz i do was born first hahaha!! i'm like a male version of hingis. though it'll be sooner snowing in singapore than me winning the grand slam.

* i was gonna type 'snowing in the middle east desert' in above paragraph but then i recalled dubai has just opened a ski resort, a 3-soccer-field-sized man-made one. gosh i have to go to dubai one of these years *

hingis has this superb tennis senses on court, one of the best craftiness. she makes interesting comments when interviewed, and i'm pretty sure she won't resort to having her mother melanie melator queuing in the next pay counter just so that whoever comes first will make the payment.

can you believe that? that was what i saw while shopping in OG yesterday. when this girl's turn came to pay, her mother who was queuing in the next counter threw the blouse they were gonna buy to this girl, who was queuing in front of me empty handed.

while i have to give them props for finding a stratagic and organized way of queueing for purchace, i was still left stunned for a moment. i bet a few minutes they had saved there could then be put to a better use.

like watching martina's match.

as much as i like worrying for her results when she started playing early next year and perhaps be in danger of being outhit by all those power hitters, i'm more worried now about my brother and his trip to jeddah.

he wanted to fly there this coming week and only looked for tickets last week. i mean, even getting an express bus ticket to a nearby town is almost impossible. ok so i asked for a friend who works in a travel agency to help, and she managed to get him the ticket from s'pore on the 15th.

which should be a happy ending of the story. but while waiting for his passport details via e-mail which never came (which was ironic considering he works in the national biggest telecomunication company) ,the tickets issue date date expired. lucky that somehow my friend managed to get him tickets on the 14th 10pm.

now i was just told that my brother booked a 5pm flight from KL to JB on the same day. 5pm flight! if everything goes smoothly he's gonna reach JB about 6pm. The shuttle bus to S'pore Orchard will take about an hour or more depending on the rush hour traffic, then another 40 minutes traveling time from Orchard to Changi.

i'm not sure how he's gonna take this but i'll freak out if it was me. i mean, if you purchase thousand of dollars worth of air tickets and committed to long journey hours, you won't wanna put anything to waste. it's just too risky.

but hey, he'll probably pull this one off. which i hope he will.

oh and i do wish hingis pull her first match through too!


...ed

signed, sealed, delivered

i'm enjoying peace and quite again.

ok peace isn't too accurate a word to use. it wasn't like i felt violated or stressed from all the activities while my family was here. it was nice with all the companies, and the chatting and spending time around each other. hey, the saying family is gold isn't for nothing...

everything went on smoothly. except maybe that night when i wanted to bring them to east coast hawker center but overshot and ended up near the chalet instead so we had to take cab back to the correct place. plus, it started to rain after we ate i didn't have the chance to show the beach to them.

my mum was like, were we near the sea? didn't realize...

then i realized i left some porn files inside one of the folders on my pc after a day they were here. god knows whether my father ended up opening those during his lengthy use of my pc to surf those political websites which are his second homes. so much of me spending few days in advance sweeping off those dirty files.

anyway i guess it's ok. i mean, it's just some crappy porn files, what's the big deal? i mean, surely it's better porn than actually doing it, right? it's worse if he caught me in bed with another person. at least i'm practising self-control here.

anyway, everything was all said and done. now i feel that i'm back on my life track. i mean, i can take shower at 10pm. i can hear those traffics outside my house again. or blasting confessions on a dancefloor off my 4-surround speakers again. not to mention, (duhh!) i can go to work again!

today the hot topic in morning cafeteria while sipping hot vanding-machine milo and toasts was regarding my ex-boss. apparently he just bought a SGD250K lexus car. yes, a bloody 250K car! it's expensive enough to buy a four room hdb and still have enough left for renovation. and at least hdb is leased minimum 99 years but that car will surely be gone by its 10th year.

some ppl are just plain lucky, fortunate it's almost a crime. well he better be good at work or else he'll find his car with extra pattern scrathes by the time he goes back. not that those are the things we the commoners in the company resort to in the time of vengeance, but again, he must have a reason to park deep inside the company carpark till the car not visible from the crowd path.

me, i'm content of having the most of what's left in year 2005. i think i've been through a lot this year. i've got my own house, keeping my r'ship going on strong the whole year, started picking up guitars and i'm already able to swim.

all signed, sealed and delivered.


...ed