piss-o-meter cranked up

some people just don't give up, do they?

this phone on my colleague's table has been ringing for like 15 minutes and still not stopping. i mean, what's that about? i can understand if this is a hospital emergency line, the police station or the grand central station but this is a memory chip company.

unless some bombs are gonna explode somewhere in 5 minutes unless you disable the memory chip component, there is no reason to hold on that long. even then, surely it would have exploded by now.

some people are just plain weird. i normally can tolerate weirdness because at least weirdness is amusing but when it gets annoying like this, i feel just like lady gaga in her telephone video when she was about to poison the whole diner.

one rank lower than annoying weird act like this, is boring people. i don't know, they must have 'being boring' as one of the recruitment criteria in this company lately, because all the new hires are plain dull-duds.

come to think about it, i suspect they are clones made from planet kamino in star wars, except instead of army clones, they made worker bees just to work in this company and nothing else. that would explain their over-dedication to work with zero sense of anything else.

as a result, when i am in between assigments like this, i'm bored to the core. instead of cubicle-hopping happily sharing office gossips, i'm reduced to checking twitter on my google nexus, and even then, there's not even a single tweet worth mentioning.

i just wish i were in cafeteria kitchen in white latex and a blue telephone on my head, mixing valium in lunch dish sambal tumis for the whole office people to consume. yes, that would do the trick. 20mg valium and maybe 2mg of klonopin will really boost up the fun-o-meter.

oh and you know what? the phone is still ringing, but i cannot pick it up with this valium in my hand eh...



...ed

maroon box in meeting room

we had team building meeting yesterday in the company. at time like this, i just love this meeting, simply because..

1) i have nothing else better to do
2) no bosses in the meeting
3) we could talk about fun stuff, like where are good eating places in singapore.

no pressure at all, and also actually related to our everyday lives. i mean, who cares how many memory chips passing our test flow, right?

plus, yesterday when i entered the meeting room, i saw this maroon bengawan solo cake box on the table in the middle of the room.

it was a birthday cake! i was already hungry having been to office cafeteria but couldn't find anything edible to eat at tea break time just shortly before.

even better?

the cake was actually for me!

ok, me and this one other guy but still, it was for us!

you see, my birthday was just on last saturday on april 3. however, i was in a train somewhere in remote thai region when the clock striked 12, at thailand nongkhai and laos border when i woke up in the morning, at laos vientiane in the afternoon and luang prabang by sunset.

so i could barely know my barring, let alone to sit down and celebrate my own birthday.

in fact, the first person who wished me happy birthday in person, was lao immigration lady at the friendship bridge.

which is still cool for me. i mean, how many of you being wished happy birthday by a lao immigration lady before?

exactly.

so even with a bengawan solo cake that i was only entitled to 50% of it, i am still happy. hey, that might be, ok most probably be the ONLY cake i will have for me this year.

ok there weren't any singing and candle blowing, but that's ok. my wishes never came true anyway so why bother make any? somehow i always end up with the bad part of the probability. the queue line i choose is always the slowest, it always rain when i want it sunny and i'm never getting promoted.

most of the time now, i don't even have any preference anymore. i want to just lay on bed and close my eyes.

so tell me what else to be upbeat about a birthday? for all i know, the cake is the best thing that could ever happen. trust me.

that, and the team building meeting.



...ed

try writing with a broken mind

ok now i'm having a bit of a time in my hand.

ok not literally, you can't REALLY have time in your hand. i mean, how are you gonna hold time? you cannot even see time right?

different case if it's a 'TIME' magazine.

what i'm saying is, i have free time.

not free as in non-PAID. in fact, i am actually being paid for my time now because i'm in the office and supposed to crunch up numbers to please some people now.

i'm just have nothing to do at the moment lahh...

see? my scatter-brain still works. i'm still able to write non-sensical stuff even if i haven't been writing much lately.

ok that's an understatement. haven't been writing much, i mean. in real world, i'm like that small kid who went missing for many years, started to get forgotten, and suddenly reappeared all grown up and everything.

and people was like, asking the boy what happened during all those years when he was missing? and that boy just gave them a blank stare, lost for words to describe the traumatic experience.

except in my case, i wasn't traumatic, kidnapped or anything. ok in a very lose term, i was indeed kidnapped.

by facebook and by air asia.

i am totally hooked by facebook. you know, sometimes when i woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare or a wet dream or when some big hairy stuff trampled over me on bed (ok that last one never happened), i briefly opened my facebook account to see for any new notification, or if there isn't any, just to browse through the latest news feed.

so uncool huh?

i just couldn't help it. everytime after i wrote a status update, i felt like a pop idol who has just released a new song to the public via vevo. would it hit 10 million viewers in 3 days like that telephone video?

i know it's just pathetic, but sometime you just have to live in your small little world, don't you? and when it is getting too pathetic that you feel like jumping off the ledge, you go and get away from it all.

and it truly helps when air asia released all those zero dollars deal.

so it is not my fault that i have been flying quite a lot lately. everytime when i say i'm flying off to somewhere, my friends would ask.. again?

which i think it's a tad exaggerated. i mean, how many flights are there per day, per year and to how many destinations? i could not have flown even 0.01% of them all, right?

exactly.

so you see, i have been busy measuring mostly the south east asian region corner to corner for the last year or so, i might as well have worked in google map plotting company.

even before i had time to upload the photos and write blogs about the trip, the time is always due for the next one.

but i'm back now. for now at least. i promise myself i will stay in this island at least long enough for my seat warmed up, which should be shorter than what it takes for lady gaga to release her next hit single, before i go browsing the online flight booking website again.



...ed

into the inlet gates

i just returned home from my journey to the east, and i am just so exhausted.

it's ironic how relaxing work is nowadays, and days on travel is far more hectic. i rushed flight departure time more frequent than boss' assignments dealines. i felt like working is actually my new weekend.

on the recent long deepavali weekend, we did the amazing race across macau, hong kong and shenzhen, rushing from spot to spot checking out local scenes and products. at the end of the day, we didn't win any money of course, heck we even got fake money in the process, but at least, we have gigas of photos and sunburn lines to tell our tales.

oh and impaired smell sense too due to over-exposed to that stinking tofu.

hereby, i'm gonna call this trip, the oriental express.



oriental express travellogue : part 1

of all the budget airlines i've taken, and this year has been A LOT, this recent trip must be the longest one. the journey i mean.

still, i was really convinced the airlines put in enough fuel inside and they were NOT comprimising anything in the safety department. hey budget airlines have flown all the way to london, right? compared to that, this trip must be just like visiting the neighbours.


we touched down at macau international airport on time at 3.30pm. the weather was clowdy. that weather bitch lady the day before must be lying on our faces when she said it would be thunderstorm.

we were greeted by the sight of a ferries-wheel on top of the building.

what a funny place to build that at huh?


we only stayed one night in macau, and it was at this grandview hotel. taxi fare from the airport was 20MOP, which we paid by HKD. HKD is only slightly bigger than MOP, so I guess it was an excepted transcation islandwide. after all, they gain, you lose.

i booked this hotel via latestays.com for only 80 SGD per night, which is cheap for a 4-star hotel in macau.

pretty nice place, although not exceptionally what you called 'grand'. only that it is in taipa island, but macau islands are small anyway, so moving around should be a breeze.


plus, our plan was just to visit casinos for that night, and what's better place to start other than the venetian macau at the nearby cotai strip?


venetian macau is very prominent on that cotai-strip. it looks exactly the same as the one in las vegas, so i wasn't really head over heel over the sight.

i don't even have a proper photo shot of the building, so i substituted with the one with me inside it. someone said BOF, that korean show, had a scene here. hah, no wonder people stare at me, they must have thought i was one of the actor....

the venetian macau

the grand canal was on the higher floor, and unlike the one in vegas, this one has very less people. it was easy to snap photos without people walking passed by in front of your camera making you wanted to strangle them alive. made me wonder, how could these shops here survived? the nasi lemak auntie in front of my block back home have more customers...

from the venetian, we hopped on the shuttle bus to get to the sands in macau island. you see, all these casino hotels each have their own shuttle buses, mainly to the ferry terminal. the venetian for example, have extra shuttles to the sands and the airport.

they are free, and the deal is, they won't ask you any question when to take them. so it all screamed 'let's abuse the system', like we did when we took the the shuttle bus to the sands when we actually wanted to go to the Wynn and MGM grand just beside it.

left:casinos at cotai strip, right:nearby wynn at macau island

after the grand canal at venetian, the insides of other casinos looked less impressive. we just briskly passed through the gambling dens then moved to others. MGM Grand was not bad with fake pandas scattered all over the hall. MGM = Panda? I don't see the connection. lion, yes, but never panda. whatever..

we returned to our hotel using our hotel's shuttle bus from the ferry terminal close to midnight, and then turned in for the night. god knows how our beds going to be in subsequent nights, so we better cherished the comfortable grandview beds. we got to wake up early to catch the early ferry to hong kong the next day. there were places left to venture in macau but we were going to do that when we returned to macau on our last day before flying back.

sounds like a plan?

...ed

quo vadis

i have cough. i have flu, and till few days ago, i got a bit of fever.

urghh...

i don't mind getting sick you know, as it's just flu, not life-threatening (unless it's H1Ni but somehow i don't think that's what this is) and i can use a bit of rest at home too (whilst playing my new virtua tennis xbox 360 game that i just bought last week).

but i already took 2 days mc last week because of gastric pain, the week after my one week hari raya break, and getting one this week doesn't look too good from the eyes of the boss and HR no matter how you look at it. plus, i'm going on leave tomorrow till next week.

the timing is just all wrong lahh.. my body chose such an inconvenient time to fall apart. last friday night, we went to zirca pub in clarke quay. my friend asked me to go along since he could get us into the guest list.

you see, it was a mr singapore final event that night, and his friend is actually mr bukit timah. how he got a friend like that, i don't know, but i just wanted to go out and chill.

but then, my nose started running the moment i stepped inside. it was like a curse or retribution or something. i tell you, it doesn't make you feel good to be all wet and drippy while looking at those perfectly healthy bodies on the stage. i felt like such a reject.

and now, it's less than 24 hours till my flight to macau, and i'm not even sure i don't have fever yet. at least, i think i don't. this should be just the normal warm blooded heat. still, i must find a way to cool down the body today, be it by gulping liters of barley drink or wearing ice patch all over. it's just common sense to be prepared, or like the singaporeans say, be kiasu a bit.

i guess eating ice cream is good too, right? i already started coughing anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal. the company thinks it is though, because they think it's appropriate to reward us for getting through the pay freeze and retrenchment and zero OT through this difficult economic downturn by giving us ice creams.

yes ice cream. 2 cones of it. they even elected representatives from each department to decide whether their respective departments will get cones or scoops of ice creams. when other companies get bonuses or even outside outings, we get 2 cones of ice creams, and it's not even haagen daas, or one of those premium brand. i mean, what kind of brand is dairy farm??

well i guess at the very least, all those middle age men and women could flashback their childhood memory, to the excitement when their kindergarten class teacher treated the whole class ice creams to get them to cheer up. after all, this is what it's all about, the company tryring to cheer you up for 2 seconds despite all the shortcomings.

so, good job company x, keep it up! i almost forgot my pay is stagnant already.

the newspaper can say what they want, like today's headline proclaims that singapore is already out of recession, but for me, until we are feeling the benefits, it's all just empty words.

people say, until you walk the talk, you're just talking cock. if the company is doing better, then how come i still cannot claim medical expenses? if i go to work and spread H1N1 to the whole department then it's really not my problem.

when our friends will get married is also not my problem. well most of the times, but when your good friend suddenly announced he's getting married in few months time, it does send shock waves to the richter scale. i felt just like susan meyer suddenly being told that her daughter is pregnant by her neighbour lynette scavo in season 6.

the only difference is, nobody is in life support machine here. well, except PAS that just got whacked left and right after the malaysian state bagan pinang by-election last sunday. they deserved it though. my point is, what's up with endless islamic or secular state, canning or not canning, drinking or not drinking, covered up or not covered up debates? can we just concentrate on how to improve the quality of life of common folks?

but what do i know? i'm just a stagnant-paid employee of a company that rewards ice creams, with drippy nose and unstoppable coughing, and kept in the dark when his best friend was getting married.

quo vadis, ed??


...ed

three-some nines

this morning my friend wrote on his facebook status that today's date is 09/09/09. at that particular moment i glanced at the clock and it was about 2 minutes more before 09:09:09am on this wednesday morning.

wow, isn't that cool? 09/09/09 09:09:09.

i heard that lots of couples in singapore registered for marriage on this very day. for the chinese, number 9 signifies longevity, so it's such an auspicious date to hold the holy matrimony.

plus, it will look good in the invitation card and easy to remember the anniversary too.

but that's as far as it gets. if you and your spouse are like cats and dogs, or like UMNO and PAS, barring machine-guns and C4 after every arguments, bunch of nines isn't gonna help anything at all. for all you know, you'll be dialing 999 instead in no time.

still, people like eventful numbers like this.

it's too bad my father isn't chinese. because if he was, i could just ask him to wait till the next auspicious date 09/09/99 for me to get married since I have already missed this one. that's another 90 years! plenty of time to stall him.

but apparently he's not. i bet he doesn't even realized today's date, unless there is a planned opposition party rally in the city or something. that's why the last time i met him, he said if i join my brother who's going to get married in june next year and make it a double wedding, he could upgrade the celebration hall package.

huh? i mean, excuse me. like i could just go to the shopping mall and buy a wife at will.

well, i could. there are plenty of organizations that provide brides from outerspace, but will i? this is so like that movie i watched about a rich dad left his son a fortune before he died, but only if the son finds himself a wife in a month time, or else he could be left with nothing.

me? i don't even get any incentive like that. plus, what should i say to her? 'let's get married so we could upgrade the caterers and perhaps add in 2 more dishes?'.

yeah that's romantic.

so for me, with zero plan to get married on this day, or even in june next year, today isn't gonna be anything different. sky stays blue, roses stay red and teoh beng hock death still remains a mystery. in fact, today so far is as uneventful as it can be, nobody paraded with any severed animal head or anything, and my attempt to work today has been F9. failed.

99 everyone.




...ed

Moo-points extravaganza

i woke up last night before dawn to have a quick bite.

(you see, it's the fasting month now, time when we refrain ourselves from food and all things evil (read : sex) from dawn till dusk. so this pre-dawn meal is when you have your last meal to prevent you from feeling regret when your stomach grumbles the next day)

i took out the toaster, butter and jam (somehow i was craving for hot kaya toasts) and then the bread and.. realized the bread has already spotted green fungus.

eeekk...

so there went my dream meal. gone with the fungus down the rubbish chute.

so now i'm already hungry at 10am in the morning. what a bummer.

the good thing is, today seems like a free day for me too. i've been free since.. quite awhile actually. i'm handling this customer return parts analysis, and by the look of it, our customers are all satisfied. .

well, either that or our parts screw their system so bad that they don't know what's the source of the screwing-up.

not that i'm complaining. hey, I'm typing this, and the money keeps rolling in at the end of the month. only that this stalling around makes the time goes slow. i've already spammed my facebook account with status (err.. is there a plural for status?? statusses??) and comments, digged up all the malaysian insider news and spread the hate... and it's only just noon.

but i'm sure there are ways to amuse myself. for example, like reading the reasons why malaysian home minister hishamudin defended the cow-head stomping and spitting incidents last friday.

i'm telling you, does he think malaysians are stupid? ok maybe we are not, but reading these kind of news makes our IQ drop a few notches. youtube already showed that the recent temple relocation protesters in shah alam kicked and spat the cow-head, and yet he said they did not know where the cow-head came from.

please lah. the cow head dropped from the sky, is it? and they just happened to accidentally stepped on it?

he also said the police did not interfere the illegal gathering because apparently the bloody death threat they shouted was peaceful, and 50 people is a small number to cause security concern anyway.

yeah right. that's why they arrested the opposition candle light vigil gathering held in selangor months back. i mean, candles could cause fire, right? even if it's being done by less than 20 people. also it apparently must be a national security concern too if you wear black and flock together go drink coffee (err.. because then those people can hide behind the shades of the black coffee and avoid paying?? i dunno.. ask the police who arrested them).

i'm concerned actually. the other day i listened to the news when they interviewed local people there on why they objected to the temple in their vicinity. they said their's is a muslim majority area, so the temple should not be built there. plus, then the temple will be next to the playground, and the parents will prevent their children from using the playground if the temple is next to it.

you see, we cringed when minority muslims were harrassed elsewhere, but when they are the majority, they have to come out with ridiculuous reasons like this to deny the minority religion their rights. ok if we follow that logic, there won't be any mosque built in sabah and sarawak. and what's the problem with playground next to the temple? afraid the kids will embrace hinduism if they see the tnmple everyday??

i have no more say. last night, another ruling party parliament member Mukhriz said the police should not arrest those illegal cow-head-stomping protesters so that to avoid unrest. ok so charging someone of their wrongdoings can create unrest.

i rest my case. all these should just go down the rubbish chute, just like my fungus-spotted bread.


...ed